What Layoff Taught Me

I still remember the day I was laid off from Citrix. I was 28 years old and still early in my career, but the layoff felt as if it announced the end of my career. The future seemed bleak. I had won an “Above-and-Beyond Sales Engineer” award two months before the layoff and a few other awards that year. I felt I was untouchable until I got the message that I, along with 1000 other employees, were no longer with the company. I couldn’t help but doubt all the praise that I have ever received about my performance. I took the decision personally – that I wasn’t good enough or critical enough for the company’s success. I took the layoff as a reflection of my performance and my worth. I felt shame and abandonment. 

That view led me to experience much pain but also taught me much about my identity and how I defined it. I realized that I had defined my identity by my work or what I did for a living. I defined my value by the value of the job I was performing. I was so work-focused that when it was gone, I felt that I didn’t have anything else to fall back on. I was lost.

This experience kicked off the redefinition of my identity and the search for my purpose. Looking back, I realize how much the layoff was a gift that opened me up to my most significant personal growth journey. But first, I had to go through the stages of grief – I felt shocked, confused, and fearful; then I felt angry and frustrated, then sad. After all that, I began to uncover the meaning of the experience for me. I started opening up and realizing, bit by bit, the abundance of options in the world. I started reflecting on what I always wanted to do but never had the gut to dedicate time to. I was giving all my time and energy to work, and I never allowed other interests or desires to emerge. 

I realized that my long journey to come to the US and pursue higher education and grow was meant for something beyond myself or being an employee. This internal exploration allowed me to gain more clarity on the impact that I wanted to make. This experience led to the start of my nonprofit organization, Crafting Love and Hope, which has served hundreds of youth and women across Morocco and the US. It made me realize that our journey in life is not only for what we get out of it but what the world gets out of it. My layoff experience allowed me to experience my connectedness to others and not feel isolated in my own experience. It allowed me to see that a layoff doesn’t serve as simply a shock to our system or stability, but it can open us to the world and what it is asking of us.

The chance to start anew allowed me to look at my life holistically. I never wanted to look again at my life through the lenses of finance and career only. Instead, I started seeing meaning, purpose, health, relationships, and love. I saw the interconnectedness and the importance of all of these areas in my life. What felt like a slap in the face woke me up to life. Not only did I launch my nonprofit and allow myself to listen to my yearnings – to honor them and take action on them – but it also allowed me to choose my next steps mindfully. It taught me the importance of harmony across our various life areas. For that, I am forever grateful.

In life, we can look at experiences as victims or see guidance to something better. When we go through life with eyes open to meaning and guidance, every experience can feel like a blessing and an opportunity for growth. We can open ourselves to trust. With the belief that the universe is benevolent and that it has our best interest, we never fear what lies ahead. I invite you to reflect on your thoughts about yourself, others, and the world. Do you believe you have all the resilience and wisdom to navigate whatever comes your way? Do you trust that your community wants to support you? Do you trust the universe’s wisdom and that it has your back?

Whoever is reading this, if you recently were affected by the layoffs, I am sorry. I know it is painful and sad. It is normal to feel shocked, fearful, angry, sad, or all of these feelings at once. The change can shake one’s stability, especially with all of our financial responsibilities. However, we must be present with our experiences without forcing them to be a certain way. So, I would like to invite you to allow all of the emotions to rise, as they will teach you along the way and lead you toward a greater gift – a path to your freedom. What are you currently feeling? What are these emotions trying to teach you? Compassion for yourself will allow you to transform these feelings to start seeing the world again with a new fresh lens.

Could this layoff open you to higher possibilities for your next chapter? Is this the time to reset and create something better and more significant? How can you honor your emotions without descending into a state of grief that paralyzes you? What is a yearning within that you haven’t allowed time to express? How can you ask for and receive support? How can you birth a more aligned and vibrant possibility?

These are the types of questions we explore in Authentic Living, my six-month course. If you would like more details, join the waitlist below.